Fairy Dust

Negativity wtf

Jolene Cynthia — Wed, 09 May 2012 13:05:11 BST

People who know me personally will know that I am 55% pessimist 45% optimist most of the time wtf. On really good days when I can make a joke out of stepping into a drain or scaling a vertical cliff I am a ridiculous 90% optimist wtf. My close friends dread my really good days tho because being ridiculously optimistic also make my already lame jokes lamer. So I don't have a lot of really good days.

However on my very bad days I am also a ridiculous pessimist at 90% wtf. Lately it's not days but spots in days when I feel so discouraged I become really negative and geniunely wish myself an early death. Like last night when my first serious ex-boyfriend suddenly sent me a reply to an email I sent him like 4 years ago wtf. I think that guy is 没药救 (hopeless) and that I had horrible taste in guys wtf. Judging by the fact that my last serious relationship ended a few months ago with the same wtf excuses I must still have horrible tastes wtf.

So after a bit of brooding and driving myself crazy I posted this tweet:

Barely 25 and already so completely sure no persons of the opposite sex will ever find me attractive, so bloody optimistic Jo-leneee.

- Jolene Cynthia ✵ 황은해 (@xinping2016) May 8, 2012

I thought it was obvious I was being sarcastic with my own pessimism, because I don't usually say "bloody", it's so British and I only use it when I feel to heck with everything (i.e. almost give up hope liao), because bloody hell why I seem to repel everyone especially decent guys?! Besides I actually call myself Jo-leneee (stretched out the 'Jo' and E.N.E. bit), I actually hate it when people say it that way instead of the two seconds it normally takes to call my name. So yes in a way I was patronising myself.

Okay so I tweeted that and promptly forgot about it, since I usually use Twitter to vent frustrations and it is especially convenient to do this in 140 characters (I am being sarcastic about the 140 characters).

Then Shawn asked everyone to slap me senseless wtf.

Someone slap dis bish @xinping2016 for me =.= twitter.com/silvermercury/…

- Shawn G 甘向钐 (@silvermercury) May 8, 2012

Also a few others tell me not to worry because guys will definitely line themselves up for me one. Because it totally make sense for an antisocial not to mention introvert to have a room full of guys lining up to dance with me wtf. The thought of it is so laughable it is almost sad.

My second serious ex-boyfriend thought that I was joking when I said I don't have a lot of friends, so he told me to go out and make new friends wtf. I mean I do get along incredibly well with my few friends but going out to meet new people is scary. I hide behind my poker face in places full of people because I am actually scared shitless wtf. Even in UK when I am constantly out of my comfort zone, I make only a handful friends each year. Like how on the Spain fieldtrip I talked to Jordan properly for the first time and we clicked and he suggested a baguette fight sometime in the future wtf. It's not easy to put up with my lameness you see =.=

My coursemate said I don't need a bloke b/c I can fix blocked plumbings, fix electrics and also do chores. I do need a cook however...

- Jolene Cynthia ✵ 황은해 (@xinping2016) May 8, 2012

That and a driver too, I guess, since I plan to never drive. My mom is going to helpfully introduce me to a potential driver guy so I can at least get myself driven around in the short one month in Brunei wtf. I am already not looking forward to it already. I mean what does Yu Heng or Zudin lack wtf. I know they're just my friends but what is wrong with being driven around by people you've known for almost 10 years (or in the case of Yu Heng, 15 years). They may not have driven for that long but at least they are friends I trust wtf.

To the few people who bother to reply my tweets, I am sorry I am so bloody negative on Twitter wtf.

Spain fieldtrip condensed wtf

Jolene Cynthia — Mon, 07 May 2012 13:31:25 BST

So to those of you who don't know I went to Spain to look at the rocks for two weeks wtf. I totally did not bum off two weeks I could have used on revision, I swear. It's all pretty crazy and I start that April 23rd off worried when I got onto the coach to Stansted Airport but my name wasn't on the coach list because my name is last on the list no thanks to my family name wtf. Anyway, I digress.

First week: Luarca.

Spain started off sunny and I tanned in the first week, mapping major folds on the beaches of north-west Spain. It was mentally challanging and I didn't think I did well, but the marks said otherwise, so maybe I did okay afterall? This week also sees most of the nicer photos with sun glare wtf. We even rounded off the week by escaping the crappy hotel food and dined at a nice pub. I had medium raw ox streak, which was nicer than it sounds, and sangria. Something like 6 spirits, loads of sugar, wine and something else was put into the sangria. I had four glasses. I didn't think it was strong at that time, but the next day I have a nagging headache and apparently I was too happy that night too. Nothing wrong with being too happy, I guess, but the headache made me felt crappy and appetite-less.

Two star hotel we stayed at.

Luarca at night.

In the field.

Our high tide lookout.

Rough cross-section.

Aforementioned Spanish pub.

The scary Atlantic waves.

After Luarca, we set off for Cistierna, nicely tucked away in the mountains of eastern Spain. This is where I went downhill and took a lot of photos of rocks and one giant penis stamped into the hard ground by two of my coursemates. I will now desperately make up for it with wannabe artistic photos.

Like this one.

And this one.

Also this one.

One of me hard at work.

The barely complete map.

The weather in the mountains wasn't great, but we did get bouts of sunshine. However, on the last day of mapping, shit happened.

The day started off miserable, with the low-pressure system back down in Spain, so we were literally soaked to the bone and overworked our waterproof gear that day. My field partner could hardly walk with the pain in her leg, but she presisted! I love you Syafi ♥ It rained thorughout the morning, cleared up a bit around noon, then rained a bit more. At about 3.30PM Spanish time, shit started getting real when we heard thunder not very far away. Then hail was unceremoniously dumped in our face, accompanied by deathly forks of lightning.

It looks like this, but less pretty and packed with a lot more punch.

We dumped the hammer by the roadside, not wanting to be turned into fried sotong a few years too early. Elsewhere in the field, my coursemates had a near brush with death because they stupidly decided to seek shelter under a tree. Two of them also managed to escaped being turned to fried sotong by sheltering under a bridge. We were out in the open with my hammer lying barely 100m away. We somehow managed to take three readings with hail pelting in our faces wtf.

Then we ran with tails between our legs back to the meeting point that is the pub and managed to calm down enough to dry off, get drinks and complete our maps. My map managed to stay 90% dry. It was worth paying £40 for the mapcase after all (although my waterproof notebook managed to get very wet).

The next day we flew back to UK and we managed to snag ourselves a blessing in disguise which came in the form of a luxurious coach. Leather seats, wooden floor, LCD screen...the works basically. Almost a limo but not quite. Collective reaction of the coach is WOW!!!

Abrupt end.

Bristol! Bye bye friendly long hair!

Jolene Cynthia — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 00:43:09 BST

Nana and I made a last minute plan to go for an overnight stay in the exciting, not-so-kampung city of Bristol last Monday. It was so last minute we actually started putting the plan together at 11PM the night before the trip, lol.

Anyway, it was quite fun! I had dinner with Yamin and the boys from Southampton, afterwards we went to Affaf's place where we were staying overnight. It was so far away from the city centre =.= but such a nice, clean and pretty place! Affaf's mom made us chicken and I ate again haha >.< I was so full that night, not complaining of course haha.

The next morning, Nana and I shopped around a little and Zudin took both of us to the Clifton Suspension Bridge! I had been there before two years ago at around the same time of the year, but I saw new things this time! Specifically the exposed rocks, haha.

Zudin's place is just above an adult store wtf

It was a very rushed trip but so worth it, if only it wasn't so expensive to live there haha.

Yesterday, Riku came over to my place and she bought Saleehin wtf. I was so surprised I temporarily forgot his name, lol! Not the first time actually.

Hin's hair is cavemen long, so Riku decided to give him a bit of a trim. I slept over at Riku's and bought my hairdressing shears to help out. We got him to sit on the floor and I tried to remember how my mom used to cut my bangs when I was little. All went well until I started cutting the left side of his head...it came out too short and choppy, still so guilty after I manage to make it look less choppy >.<

Still, he had given me an opportunity to practice cutting hair. I'll need it on my future children's hair? >.< If I can land myself a husband and there's nothing wrong with us both, that is >.< Lifelong dream wtf I feel like a Sim now.

Anyway, the next day (miserable rainy today) we dragged him to go wander around St Davids aimlessly for a bit, then a late lunch at GBK. Then more aimless wandering before sending him off at the train station wtf.

Riku and I went to McD for a bit, the guys sitting on Riku's left were Japanese wtf. Riku was really happy but I feel quite meh. We wandered around John Lewis for a bit before taking the bws home. Da end.

Oh and I've recently got into the Hunger Games hype, so I want my future son to be called Peeta wtf.

Free lunch!!

Jolene Cynthia — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 10:33:14 BST

Okay I know I should have blogged about this right away after it happened but I have more pressing matters on my mind at that time, but last Saturday was the Cardiff European Games. I'm not very sporty so I didn't take part, actually taking part will kill me! My three housemates took part in a few of the games for sure and I feel very unhealthy le. At least I do Geology still got intense field trips, think scaling vertical cliffs and throwing Health & Safety regulations out the window. Haha!

Anyway, I woke up at 10AM and my housemates were already gone making me alone in the house with the damn cat. I watch anime/self-taught more Javascript/Tumblr then I received a text from Zudin telling me he's in Cardiff for the Games and do I want to meet up for lunch? Of course I want free food! So after some mini drama I walked to Talybont to drag him into town. I don't think he realise this but I walked for more than 2 hours that day just bringing him around!

At first I want to eat Malaysian food, but the boss of the restaurant is too talkative and intrusive, and if I bring Zudin there for sure he will ask a lot of intrusive questions! Also Zudin is timid and will definitely not stand up to the boss. So I bought him to Wagamama instead where the food portion is as big as the price tag (meaning super worth it la). He ordered some fried yakisoba and I ordered chicken katsu curry. He didn't finish his food wtf. I was very chinesy that day I insist on finishing my katsu curry to make it worth every penny Zudin treated me wtf. At some points I feel terribly awkward because people looked at us like we're going out romantically or something (i.e. dating) but we're just good friends wtf.

After sending him off at the train station, I went into St Davids and window shop until damn depressed, lol. I then walked the 1 hour stretch home feeling super moody the whole time for reasons I can't recall. Anyway. Highlight of that day was free lunch and lots of walking!

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Define "thankful".

Jolene Cynthia — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 09:19:53 BST

This article in Borneo Bulletin Weekend spelt it out clearer than I ever will be able to. Kudos to the writer, whoever you are.

We want more, we want it cheaper, we want it better

Are we spoilt? Or are we more educated and asking for what we believe are ours by right?

A lot of things in Brunei are cheap or heavily subsidised. We are thankful. But are they good enough? Education, healthcare, housing, cars, electricity, water, petrol, gas, sugar, rice and others. Thank you but we want more, more and more! We want it cheaper! We want it better!

The public education is not good enough. The allocated government allowance for private schooling is insufficient. More please. We shouldn't compare our literacy rates and scholarships with our less wealthy neighbours. We should only see how unlucky we are compared to the more developed countries.

Healthcare is not good in this country. Overseas, you get amazing service. Brunei should provide the same. Never mind the cost of providing it. It should be borne by the government. Is it too much to ask for better care, excellent medicines, and shorter waiting times?

And please, can we not have to pay $1 for all of this? Isn't this our country? We should get it for free. Let us not compare ourselves with other countries where people have to wait more than 12 hours to see a doctor and also pay for all the medicines prescribed. That's a different story.

Waiting for a government house takes years. Can't it be speeded up? We are fed up of living in this house which is actually under someone else's name - to ensure I get government housing. Renting it out (to the government) would get us some extra cash. May I also request for a detached house? These terrace houses are so small and how on earth am I supposed to extend it? Yes, yes, we have the cash to buy a tiny house but that's not the point. We want the government provided house!

Please can the government not change any of the prices and rates for electricity, water, petrol, gas, sugar, rice and others? We are quite happy with the money saved by having all these cheap things. After all, we are saving up to buy that dream car of ours. Now that's worth saving up for. Wait for the end-of-year bonus which is sure to come. There's no need to thank the government. It is my hard-earned money. No need to compare with other countries where the cost of owning such a car is tremendous. This is Brunei.

The law of economics states that if something is good and cheap, everyone will want lots of it. Does this mean the current system in Brunei will one day become unsustainable? Obviously not! Brunei is different because we are rich and have infinite amount of oil. So come on, give me more!

Source Opinion, Borneo Bulletin Weekend March 24, 2012

I will if you will: going beyond Earth Hour

Jolene Cynthia — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 10:51:52 GMT

Last year, for reasons I couldn't remember, I didn't blog about Earth Hour. I did remember sitting in the darkness of my room the whole evening, reading a book by the torchlight Tiffany had given me two years ago.

This year, the team at Earth Hour had come up with a fresh approach to the campaign: I WILL IF YOU WILL. So here is my Earth Hour dare for you:

I dare YOU to keep your lights switch off for three hours every early morning or evening.

As natural light fade away during the evening, it is our instinct to let there be light, so we unconsciously reached for the light switches. However, if you keep the lights off and work in a room which let in enough natural light, you CAN keep the lights off. Same goes for early morning. To my Muslim friends, is it necessary to have the lights on when you perform your wudhu? That's the idea.

Here is how easy it is to flick the light switch off; if you do this everyday, it will become a habit and before you know it, you have gone beyond the one hour of Earth Hour and that, my friend, is making a difference.

Climate change is a very real thing, and as an Earth Science student I can go on and on about it - if you dare ask. So make a difference today. Get involved. We only have one known habitable planet and it is our responsibility to save it. Don't be an irrespnsible jerk lol

Source: Earth Hour
Past posts: [2009] [2010]

Clean slate.

Jolene Cynthia — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 19:55:27 GMT

I was all talk before, but today I decide enough is enough.

Everything that reminds me of him or related to him, I binned them and made sure they get to the rubbish cart. I cut off any online connections. Deleted his number, photos, everything. I was three months too late but it's better late than never.

You don't want me in your life, I'll deep scrub you out from mine and start over a clean slate.

Ironic how slate is associated with clean.

Life mate: there is no need to seek the perfect one.

Jolene Cynthia — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 18:06:16 GMT

Found this on Facebook and it tugged my heartstrings, so I'm sharing it! Unfortunately for those who doesn't understand Malay, I am too lazy to translate the whole thing. Sorry!

Jika kamu memancing ikan... Setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail, hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu... Janganlah sesekali kamu LEPASKAN ia semula ke dalam air begitu saja.. Kerana ia akan SAKIT oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu & mungkin ia akan MENDERITA selagi ia33 masih hidup.

Begitulah juga...setelah kamu memberi banyak PENGHARAPAN kepada seseorang... Setelah ia mulai MENYAYANGIMU, hendaklah kamu MENJAGA hatinya... Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja... Kerana dia akan TERLUKA oleh kenangan bersamamu, & mungkin TIDAK dapat MELUPAKAN segalanya selagi dia mengingatmu...

Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya & janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh...cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu... Apabila sekali ia retak...tentu sukar untuk kamu menambalnya semula... Akhirnya ia dibuang... Sedangkan jika kamu cuba memperbaikinya, mungkin ia masih dapat dipergunakan lagi...

Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang, TERIMALAH seadanya... Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya & janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu istimewa... Anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan KESILAPAN, bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya... Akhirnya kamu KECEWA & meninggalkannya. Sedangkan, jika kamu MEMAAFKANNYA boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan TERUS hingga ke akhirnya....

Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi, yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu... Mengenyangkan - Berkhasiat. Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba mencari makanan yang lain..?? Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan... KELAK.. Nasi itu akan basi & kamu tidak boleh memakannya... Lalu kamu akan menyesal.

Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan, yang pasti membawa KEBAIKAN kepada dirimu. MENYAYANGIMU.. MENGASIHIMU... Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba MEMBANDINGKANNYA dengan yang lain..?? Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan... KELAK.. Kamu akan KEHILANGANNYA apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain... Lalu kamu juga yang akan MENYESAL...!!

Nutella hot chocolate and new blog ^^

Jolene Cynthia — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 07:23:02 GMT

Who doesn't love Nutella? It's so chocolatey and I love the hint of hazelnut!

This morning, when my mind is not thinking straight, I grabbed a spoon, scooped out a gallop of Nutella and put it in a mug. Pour hot water halfway up the mug, stir until all of the Nutella has dissoved, fill the mug up with milk and stir again! It taste like heaven o.o

That aside, I made a new blog for just my thoughts on beauty products >< it's on Ameba because I am obviously trying to learn Japanese! What do you mean I'm trying to be cute?

Do visit the new blog if you're interested, I haven't posted much on there yet tho.

http://ameblo.jp/lyn-cyn/

Until next time!

Please eat!

Jolene Cynthia — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 08:45:54 GMT

Lately because of financial difficulties, I haven't been eating as much as I would like to. I didn't realise just how serious my not eating is until everyone around me keep telling me the same thing: PLEASE EAT!!

For those who don't know me personally, I have a height of 154 and current weight is 43.5 kg. BMI puts me as underweight.

I want to emphasize here I do not have an eating disorder, I just haven't been eating much because I don't have the moolah to satisfy my huge appetite, so I've cut down daily food intake by half. I love food. I'm craving for Korean food at the moment.

I don't want to tell my dad because he'll think I've been spending money on useless things again, but I haven't been. I have just underestimated how much debt I had and paid them all off without thinking about money for myself. So I kinda landed myself in hot water, haha.

On another note, Caesar invited me to visit Canada with him during the Easter holidays, which I HAVE TO TURN DOWN eventhough visiting Canada (or staying there permanently, for the matter) is my lifetime wish. The timing just isn't right. I have a mapping fieldtrip to Spain during the Easter holidays, which kinda cut into reading week and I'm worried I won't have much time to revise for exams, which starts in May.

Then immediately after exams I'll have another mapping project again in North Wales, which thankfully is not too far away, but that will take me another 5 weeks. As I'm super not confident in the exams at all, I plan on staying behind and go back to Brunei in late August, which is SUPER LATE but my mom insisted.

So yes, I will eat as much as I used to when my moolah says I can. Hopefully by then I can put some weight on too..